Ellemental

The cats are pretty good at night, but every once in a while they get up to some hijinx that requires either the VIM to throw slippers or me to get up at 2 am, stomp though the house, and scoop up knocked over vitamin bottles or bungie-cord shut the bathroom cabinets that the cats keep trying to open, then slamming shut. Over and over. And over.

This week, it was my turn to stomp through the house, and when I got back into bed I couldn’t sleep. I considered just getting up. I’d be ok on 3 hours of sleep, and think of all the stuff I could get done! Then I tossed. Then I turned. Then I started thinking all the dark and ugly thoughts that only come at 2am and you can’t sleep. I did finally fall back asleep, but when my alarm went off I was in QUITE the rare mood. A bear with a sore ass, as my grandmother would say.

Our morning routine is that after I pour my coffee, I feed the cats then go make the bed. Just as I finish making the bed, one of the cats jumps up, settles into his corner, and goes to sleep. I don’t know what came over me, but that morning, I just could NOT let the cat sleep. Every time I walked by I’d poke him or shake him. I wanted payback, baby.

After an entire morning of harassing the cat, the VIM and I were getting ready to leave for work:

Me: Do you think it’s bad karma for me to be harassing the cat like this?

VIM: Yes. Remember the Egyptian Empire?

Me: ???

VIM: It’s a well-known fact that the fall of the Egyptian Empire happened because they taunted their kitties.

Now you know.