Filed under: Uncategorized
I’m not sure how clear this comes across to you, but I am an extremely routine-driven person. Those professional baseball players who have their crazy little before-game rituals? Yeah. I get it. You do something, it works, you do it again. And again. I like my routine because I CONTROL my routine, and I like my plans because I CONTROL my plans.
The VIM, God love him, understands this, and for the most part is willing and able to keep me in my comfort zone. And when he doesn’t? Well, it’s not exactly The Wrath of Elle, but it will most likely be The Pissiness of Elle. I’m not the kind of person to remember past perceived slights, let alone bring them up again in a totally different conversation. He won’t find me saying, “and that time, last year, when I asked you if my shirt looked ok tucked in and you took a little too long to answer…” What I DO do, however is hang on to times when MY routine, MY schedule was altered by the whims of the VIM. “Remember that time when we planned to leave for the concert at 4pm, so I made other early-afternoon plans, then you said 3pm, so I had to change my plans, then you said to be on the safe side we should leave at 2? Remember that??? IT SCARRED ME!” It wasn’t that the new plans were horrible, it was just that I didn’t have time to adjust. It takes me a while to adjust. And until I have a chance to adjust, to get my eyes focused on the NEW path, I feel a little out of control.
So while I work very hard to embrace the unknown and roll with the punches, the VIM tries hard to not push the envelope TOO far. He’s gotten very good at giving advance warning of possible impending changes to my routine. And I appreciate it.
I’m telling you all of this to put the rest of the post in perspective.
The other night we were playing our favorite game – Lottery House, where we talk about the kind of house we would have if money were no object. I feel I have to defend us by saying it’s not about greed. We don’t say “Well, I’d like a Matisse over the massive mahogany bed in the 5th bedroom…” It’s more about WHERE the house would be, what are the must-haves…it’s more about understanding each other’s tastes and values. After 5 years, we’re still getting to know each other.
In the middle of talking about the Lottery House, he said, “You know, we should really talk about you moving in here…gas prices, blah blah blah, save on monthly bills, blah blah blah…what do you think?” I said, “yes, I agree. We should talk about it.”
Because he knows all about my little routine / control thing, he also said that he didn’t think it would be fair to either one of us to just start moving my stuff in without having a plan (glorious plans!) of action. For example, how would the closet-space work? And maybe we should set a timetable, and look into some closet organizers, and PREPARE (glorious preparation!). I was totally on board with the whole timetable and preparation thing. “Ok, so what were you thinking as far as a timetable?” I asked, thinking maybe everything would be done by the beginning of next summer. That would give me plenty of time to PLAN and organize and do the whole “shower and leave for work from there instead of coming home every morning” test. A year? Yeah, that’s doable. “I was thinking mid to end of September.”
OF THIS YEAR? THAT’S ONLY 3 MONTHS AWAY, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!
So yeah, whatever – I know that’s plenty of time. Plenty.
Plenty.
Filed under: Songs Stuck in My Head
I have the song “Shake Your Groove Thing” stuck in my head.
This wouldn’t be horrible, except that I have a presentation today, and I keep trying to go over and rehearse it.
“Step 2 will be to identify job competencies specific to your job based on conversations with your…SHAKE YOUR GROOVE THING SHAKE YOUR GROOVE THING YEAH YEAH…supervisor and review of the job descrip…SHOW THEM HOW WE DO IT YEAH…tion.”
This should go well.
Filed under: Daily
40th birthday highlights:
- getting the most beautiful bouquet of roses ever
- getting 40 e-cards from Kacey
- riding many rollercoasters many times
- coming in 2nd in a “How Many Peeps Can You Stuff In Your Mouth” contest. (The answer – not as many as one might think.) Yes, there are pictures. No, you don’t want to see them.
- spending a beautiful hot day on a boat with a little lunch, a few margaritas, and some friends
On a totally unrelated note – my grandmother is beginning to worry me. When I talked to her yesterday she told me that she had fallen (again) in the backyard. She was weeding and got her foot caught in some roots and fell, hitting her face on the ground. Then she couldn’t get up because her knees are bad, so she had to crawl on her belly halfway up the yard to get to the swing so she could pull herself up. This all in, oh, 90 degree heat. She said her nose was bloody, her forehead cut, scrapes on both knees and elbows, plus near heat exhaustion, as she was in the yard, unable to get up for quite some time. This is the third time she’s fallen outside. The last time was a few months ago when she fell and hit her head against the woodpile. As she herself would say – “Gott in Himmel!”
Argh! The woman is 82 years old and absolutely 100% stubborn. She KNOWS and SAYS SHE KNOWS she shouldn’t be doing the things she’s doing BUT SHE DOES THEM ANYHOW. AND THERE IS NO REASONING WITH HER. AND NOW LOOK – I’M TYPING IN ALL CAPS!!! WITH LOTS OF EXCLAMATION POINTS!!!!!
Anyhow. It’s all beginning to worry me. I can’t quit my job and stay with her to make sure she doesn’t do anything stupid (say, mow the lawn at high noon on the hottest day of the year). She’s not ready (nor anywhere near willing) to consider a move to a more, uh, supervised environment.
Quick side story – although we go to the “big store” once a week, my grandmother will often walk several blocks to the local little grocery store for little things. A few weeks ago, during our evening phone call, she told me that she had been thoroughly disgusted during her trip to the store that day because while she was there, the shuttle bus from the senior living center dropped off 20 or so residents to do their shopping: “I was in a hurry (probably to get home and mow before the temp dropped below 100 degrees), and all those old people were milling around like they didn’t have a care in the world. “ I had to remind her that most of those old people were younger than her. “I know,” she said, with a touch of pride. “I know, too,” I said.
My grandmother’s heartiness has always been a point of pride for her (and for me…). I know it’s hard for me to balance that pride and desire for her to keep on keeping on as long as she possibly can with the fear that she is seriously going to hurt herself. I think for the first time, during our phone call last night, I heard that same conflict in her voice.
