Ellemental

Today I’ll review the weight loss craze that’s sweeping the nation (or at least my office) – the Three-Day Stomach Bug.

Does it lead to weight loss? – Oh Hell yes! Rapid weight loss. It was like the weight was being jettisoned from my body.

What about the exercise component? – You would think that the super-efficient weight-jettison action would be enough, but Wait! There’s More! This system adds in cardio in the form of sprints! Many, many sprints.

Did it sculpt your body? – Well, it certainly changed the appearance. My water-deprived skin settled like tissue paper over the veins in my hands and arms. I’m veiny anyhow, but this was a whole new level of definition. The biggest change, however, was in my face. Black circles under my poor, hurting, red eyes, tissue-like skin again, and the added bonus of Stress Zits! I’m not sure if the look is more “Illicit Substance Chic” or “Adolescent Skeletor”. Either way, it’s sure to scare the younger kids at Halloween.

Overall opinion of the Three-Day Stomach Bug Diet? – Stay as far away from this one as possible. Seriously. It stinks!