Ellemental

Winter is a tough time for me and my body image. I tend to gain weight, which in turn leads to this habit of hibernation. I don’t want to go out in public. I don’t want to interact. I want to be left alone with my stack of pizza cartons and 6 packs of Coca Cola. And instant mashed potatoes. And Oreos.

To make matters worse this year, the VIM has been in kick-ass mode and has really been living an even-healthier-than-usual lifestyle. Daily exercise, nearly-vegetarian diet, lots of water.

The VIM keeps telling me how much better I will feel when I start exercising regularly again. He (gently) says that he doesn’t understand how I can be so close to my “goal weight” and not be diligently working toward it, because he knows it’s an important goal for me.
Meh.

I don’t know how to explain to him about the switch. It turns itself on and off. I can’t WILL myself to be healthy. Maybe other people can, but I need that switch, which is connected to many many other factors, to be turned on. And I know eventually it will – usually sometime mid-spring I will wake up and ta-dah! I’ll be ready to reassemble my act and take it on the road.

In preparation for the switch to be turned on, I signed up for an online healthy-living community. Nutrition Counter, Exercise suggestions. That kind of stuff. It took me awhile to sign up for the free membership because I had to keep stopping to unwrap the 5 Hershey Miniatures that I was having for breakfast.